| The Top Ten Reasons Why Uncle Criss Should Be Awarded The Nobel Peace Prize 1. Because if he doesn’t win the money that comes with the prize, he will have to give up his much loved investment formulas. 2. Because as a son, brother, cousin, uncle, husband and granduncle, he has never been a disappointment …or at least disappointingly amusing (he’s known as Uncle Bobo to some). 3. Because he has never shielded his wife and children from “going native” in such places as Mauritania. 4. Because he has always treated his servants with the utmost respect and humanity providing needed employment for deserving natives and showing that all Americans are not ugly Americans…You get the picture. 5. Because if he won, his wife could translate his speech phonetically into Swedish, and then he would really impress the committee. 6. Because he restored lovingly restored a railroad in a poor country one tie at a time. 7. Well maybe he does fiddle around, but it’s always with a band. 8. Because he doesn’t fiddle around but gets straight down to business. 9. Because he single-handedly introduced water recycling to the Virgin Island Laundry Industry. 10. Because he is known as the Johnny-Veti-Ver-Seed of Africa. |
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